Keep on Loving

Friends often ask me, “How is Kristina?” They prayed for her when her life hung in the balance, now they have joy in her health. I’m assuming you are a friend, so I’ll answer that question for you as well.

Kristina’s transplanted heart is going strong. She goes to the hospital yearly for a procedure called a heart catheterization. The doctors insert a wire through one of her veins and clip off a piece of her heart to see if it is beginning to experience signs of rejection.

Fortunately, her heart has looked good. However, her life is complicated by the anti-rejection meds. Those medications suppress the immune system, which prevents her transplant from being rejected, but at the same time makes her susceptible to other ailments that her immune system needs to fight. Similar to chemotherapy, it is a scientific trade-off to determine how much medication to use before the medications cause more harm than good.

One side effect of these medications is neuropathy. Kristina’s feet get numb and she experiences sharp pains. This is a trial we pray about and would appreciate your prayers for, as well.

Neither of us believe that the pain and trials of life are a sign we should stop serving the Lord. Kristina coordinates a Zoom group for heart transplant patients every week. She assists sewing groups where the ladies make hats, blankets and quilts for cancer patients, preemies, and the homeless. She also does counseling with women and manages our household and ministry office.

We have a big family with children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, and over twenty nieces and nephews. Families like ours are wonderful, but also messy. Someone is always hurting. We also have a big church family which encompasses a few thousand people in Arizona and California. There are many blessings because of the love in this family. At the same time, there are always people we love who are hurting. Being able to rejoice with those who rejoice and stay sane when they are in pain, can be a challenge.

It can be difficult to love people deeply and not live with a heavy heart continually. We have laid down our lives to serve God’s people, but we cannot be their savior. We can stand with them in the battle, but we cannot fight their battles for them. Whether they are in our natural family, or the family of God, every person has to slay their own Goliath.

This month Kristina and I will celebrate our 51st wedding anniversary. I travel a good deal for ministry, but when I’m home, we enjoy our time together more than ever. We also give each other freedom. If Kristina wants to go to our cabin and I don’t, she goes without me. If I want to take a ministry trip and she is not up for it, I go alone. We miss each other when we are not together, but the freedom to fulfill our hearts’ desires apart from each other enables us to enjoy our time together all the more.

If the people we love are struggling, we pray for them before we go to sleep each night. We have prayed together each night our entire marriage. When we first got married, I insisted we get down on our knees and pray before we got into bed.

One night Kristina was laying on the bed waiting for me. I suggested we pray. She agreed, but she didn’t move. She said the Lord could hear her just fine when she was laying down. I wasn’t so sure. I assumed any prayers offered up from that position would arrive at the Lord’s “This is not too serious” in-basket. But after further discussion and the futility of trying to pray after arguments, we now close most days laying down together and staring towards heaven as we pray. Sometimes a spiritual leader has to adjust to the sensibilities of his flock 😊.

I think we all need a little spiritual anti-rejection medication from time to time. If the people you love are like the people I love, they don’t always want you around. They don’t always want your advice. They don’t always forgive you. They may not respond to your voice mail, email or your text.

However, if we reject everyone who offends us, we end up with just me and you. Then when I fail you, you’re all alone. If we build walls around our hearts so we don’t get hurt, we lose the joy the Lord gives us when we love one another.

Fortunately, there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. He experienced rejection from those he loved, even though he never sinned.  Whether you are running for President, or simply asking God to bless those you love, find the position that suits you, then humble yourself before the Lord in prayer. In time, the grace of God will lift you up.