I was privileged to host radio programs for thirty years and TV programs for ten years in California and Arizona. I had guests that included pastors, authors, athletes, business leaders and politicians. Many of them were well known and had engaging personalities. As I think back on those interviews, one of them stands out more than the others.
Gary Bender was a sports broadcaster who did radio and TV play by play for baseball, football and basketball on Fox, CBS, ABC and TNT. Gary is a handsome man who loves the Lord. He grew up on a Kansas farm and made play by play calls for imaginary baseball games while he drove a tractor as a boy.
I had never heard of Gary when he arrived at our radio studio for our program. Jamie Woudenberg, our producer whose persistence brought great guests to our programs, had set up the interview. As we faced each other across the studio desk, Gary began to ask me questions about my background and our church. He was interested in me and our ministry. He continued to ask me questions when we were on the air. In thirty years of interviews, nobody else ever showed interest in me that way.
Gary was used to being on nationwide TV. Our program was on KXEG, a Christian radio station in Phoenix. Gary didn’t need the exposure and he wasn’t promoting anything, but he treated our time together like it was really important. He didn’t make an impression on me because of his insights, eloquence, or stature. Our encounter was significant because he understood the impact caring can have on another person.
Gary reinforced a lesson that my parents taught by their example. The best way to have other people care about you, is for you to care about them. We can make a powerful impression on others when they realize we are genuinely interested in them. The secret sauce of building strong relationships is contained in the command of Jesus, “Love one another, as I have loved you.” (John 15:12) Jesus loved his disciples before they loved him. He drew them, like he draws us, into a relationship he initiated with his love.
As a young believer, I attended Bible studies led by Kent Philpott in a church fellowship hall in San Anselmo. The following scene happened many times. Forty young people would be sitting in a semi-circle facing Kent who was seated on a chair. Someone who had only attended the meeting one other time would walk in late. Kent would stop his message and say, “Hey John, welcome. Good to see you! Have a seat.”
I was always surprised Kent remembered so many people’s names. Instead of being irritated because they were late, he made them feel special, just for showing up. Many young people gave their lives to Jesus in those Bible studies. Some were converted by the teaching, some by the worship, and many because they were known by name and felt loved.
Our friends Brian and Colleen Heslip live on a two-acre parcel in Novato. They have a bed and breakfast and a gift of hospitality. Brian loves to cook special meals and invite friends over for dinner. He barbeques over a mesquite fire, makes a feast and serves quality wine they bottle on their property. When Kristina and I are visiting Marin, Brian often asks, “Can you come to dinner one night and bring your mother?”
My mother will turn 97 this April. Brian invites her over because he has experienced her magic touch. When we brought her to the Heslip’s for the first time, she asked Brian and Colleen all about their family and their vineyard. She was genuinely interested in their lives. That is the way she relates to everyone. She is appreciated because she loves people.
Since I was raised by parents who cared about people and asked them about their lives, I assumed that was the way most people related. I found that is not true. If you are not rich, famous, or exceptionally beautiful, you can sit by most people on an airplane, a golf cart or a church pew and they will rarely ask you about yourself. It’s sad to me that so many people miss the opportunities God puts right next to them.
Each of us has a treasure within us if Christ is in our heart. A wise person will look for treasure in others and for opportunities to share their treasure. Don’t worry about offending people. The Lord calls us to be both treasure hunters, who seek out the gift in others, and spiritual philanthropists, who freely share the treasures Christ gives us.
Be wise my friends, and your life will be enriched as you enrich others.